Synergy

So I’m decorating today. I’m supposed to be BOTH frying and decorating but when it was 10 minutes till store open (we arrive 2 hours in advance to have this all done) – and I had only fried 6 of 28 screens (each screen has about 15 donuts on it), my Nicer Than Nice Manager who was utterly swamped with her own job of running the entire bakery – sweetly announces she suddenly seemed to be completely out of things to do so would I mind if she helped me fry. Translation: we are both gonna lose our jobs if you don’t pick up the pace chickey.

I say “Sure, here’s a pointy stick – fry away”.

Now I have only been working the fry/decorate situation for a week. But I’m already looking to spice up the color combinations we must do for the donut case. Chocolate frosting with purple sprinkles. White frosting with pink sprinkles. Donuts holes with glaze…yawn….

I don’t know why I don’t first master THIS system. The very first day I frosted, I was out restocking the donut case. A nice gentleman was perusing the donuts – with a confused sort of look on his face. He was staring at my tray of turbo sprinkled long johns, with gloppy explosions of custard leaking out of fissures in the top because I overfilled them. YUM! I smiled at him and he kept looking at the tray. I wanted to say, “Oh didn’t you see the sign? It’s Crack Tuesday. On Crack Tuesday we all smoke crack and then see who decorates the best. How’d we do???” But I didn’t say that, I said, “Good Morning” instead.

He ended up just buying a baguette. Safe choice, I have no contact with baguettes.

So I apparently think I can improve on this tried and true cash cow system and since I’m clearly overestimating my marketing abilities – I assume I can also hand create intricate designs with only a spatula and lumpy frosting even though I have 21 trays of donut dough behind me all slowing collapsing because they need to be fried!

Details!

I am a mission to create a “new design”. I decide to use dark chocolate and white frosting– and make sort of “ying yang” designs – like the synergy symbol! HOW COOL will that be??? HUH? Pretty cool.

Yes it would be if I actually had any creative talent but I’m bear bait girl so I should have stuck to white frosting with pink sprinkles.

I spent about 15 minutes trying to get thicky blobby frosting into an intricate ying/yang picture with a metal spatula and my greasy gloved hands. I think there was a small fire in the fryer during this time, but I never looked up from my frosting station.  I think I was supposed to be monitoring that as well...whoops.

The end result doesn’t exactly say, “Far East”, but you can for sure tell there are TWO colors and NO PINK sprinkles!

I walk past my Nicer Than Nice Manager with my four creations. She assumes I have been back there oh, wrapping up those last 300 donuts that need to be done in 7 minutes. Nope, still working on those four leftover donuts you said to “just quickly frost” and bring out.

Well I don’t get paid the big bucks to “just frost!”

I set my tray down to show her. She says with some concern, “Oh, that’s, um, that’s ... What is that?!”

I proudly reply, “It’s the SYNERGY sign – get it – like Ying/Yang?”

“Ohhhhh” she says slowly, like I just announced I’m only using frosting in earth tones now.

I put them in the case with CONFIDENCE they will sell.

I am DELIGHTED that not 3 minutes later I see a little boy and his Mom pick a Synergy donut!

I imagine ALL my freehand donuts FLYING OUT of the case! I get promoted, they hire other artistically challenged decorators, they expand the case and I get my own parking spot! Clearly I spend a lot of time day dreaming at my smokey fry station.

The nice little boy walks up to me, opens his hands to reveal his SYNERGY donut and says, “Can you put sprinkles on this please?”

“Excuse me?” I say and I lean down towards him, even though I heard him perfectly fine.

He repeats himself and this time his Mom says, “He wants the pink sprinkles. Like you always have on the white frosting ones”.

I do my best flight attendant welcome aboard smile, I kneel down and say to the boy, “You know what? That donut is special! That is not a pink sprinkle donut because that is a SYNERGY donut! Can you say Synergy????”

He shakes his head no and can’t stop staring at the glob of dried orange frosting on my shoe that has a dirty price tag apparently stuck to it. Cool.

“Well SYNERGY is a really fun sign from the Far East. Maybe you have seen it on the show Avatar – you know the air bender kid?”

“He only watches PBS” his Mom quips, “and he’d like sprinkles on it. Can you put on sprinkles? Pink sprinkles – like always”.

“Sure” I sigh, “Wait here, I’ll be right back” and I take my Picasso and turn it into a Velvet Elvis.

When I left work at 1:00PM that day, there were still three SYNERGY donuts left.

I did accidentally put tutti frutti sprinkles on a maple frosting long john. Ewww. I’m sure that ick combo will be there in the morning.

Still some ugly brownie cakes left!!!!

UPDATE: ALL the Synergy donuts sold!!!! The tutti frutti sprinkles on maple sold. But, the ugly brownie cakes still sit there and stare menacingly at me. Please someone buy them. Please.

FRIDAY – my next work day – I fly SOLO! I open the bakery and I “supposedly” will have everything close to ready to open in 2 hours – all by myself. This means I will prepare about 300 donuts, some from scratch, some from frozen dough that we shape, all of it gets put in the warming proofer to rise then the “clock” starts to get it fried before it sinkkkksss… I will bake scones, turnovers, filled croissants, caramel rolls and Danishes. Then I will fry and frost 150 donuts. I will get this all done alone, and put in the case looking appetizing and delectable by 6:59AM. Or so my job description says.

So if you come looking for donuts on Friday – show some mercy. Behind that wall, in the little windowless fryer hovel that is my work station, will be me, bent over a fryer with frosting all over my hands and face and white uniform trying to fish out loose donuts with my pointy stick as I squint thru fryer smoke, all the while trying to fill dozens of long johns with custard then create rows of perfect butter cream frosting flowers over the top.

I’m looking forward to the challenge. :)