You gonna pay for that?

Ever wonder what happens if you drive up to your local gas station, fill up your tank, PRETEND to pay for it and then drive away without ACTUALLY paying for it??

Well I can tell you.

You get a little visit by the Sheriff!!!

Or better yet two Sheriffs!

In front of all your neighbors!!!

Of course if you are REALLY lucky like I was – you aren’t home when they visit so it just makes everyone wonder if it’s a meth lab in your basement or a side escort business that is about to bring you down.

In MY case – just an HONEST mistake. I swiped my card, it asked me if I wanted a car wash – I said no… It asked me if I wanted a receipt – I said no …just like always! Apparently it didn’t read my card and at the end of the visit – it also said to go inside in pay. I never looked up – so I just drove away. Although I drove away AFTER spending over 2 minutes sitting there cleaning out my glove compartment ripping up expired insurance cards and tossing them in the gas station garbage can. Now would I do THAT if I were also planning on stealing gas?

Anyhoo – I had just picked up my Mom who flew in from out of state for a nice long visit. On our way home from the airport, my sweet neighbor calls me on my cell to ask me if “everything is okay at my house”.

“Sure”, I reply, “Why???”

“Well, um, it’s just because, well…the Sheriff – actually two of them are at your house asking for you. They want to talk to you and they won’t tell us anything”.

Oh…my…gosh….

“Are my dogs loose???”

“No…”

“Is my alarm going off???”

“No…”

“Why are they there???”

She calmly replies she doesn’t know but I might want to call them. She sweetly gives me the non emergency number and I ring them up.

They give me the good news that I pumped and ditched at the local SA and now I better pay up or prove that I did.

I assure the Sheriff that I DID pay, but he assures me more strongly that I did not.  :)

“How about this” the Sheriff suggests, “you go home and check your bank account. If you did pay – call me back at this number. If it turns out your card didn’t take – you need to go back and pay the station – tonight – or you’ll get another visit tonight – when the second shift guys come on.”

FOR REAL???

Apparently so.

So after I confirm that I AM a total duffus and I did not pay, I fly back to the SA and run in to pay. There is a very unexcited young lady working behind the desk and two completely scraggy icky guys perusing the junk food up by the cashier.

I tell her my story… I’m so sorry…I thought my card took….I absolutely believed I had paid, I would have never sat there for 2 minutes leaving personal information in the garbage if I was going to steal from them. Then I point out I never heard her say anything like, “Go ahead on Pump 9” which I typically hear when folks pay inside.

She cracks her gum really loud, then crinkles up her nose and says, “That’s cuz the intercom is broken on Pump 9”.

Oh.

Well now. That’s terribly helpful.

“Okay then, so you see then if I COULD HAVE heard you – I would have for sure come in and paid”.

She stares at me with her best “whatever” look then says, “So you gonna pay now?”

“Of course, of course” and I hand her my debit card JUST as the two scraggy guys bust out laughing. At ME!!!! They are actually physically mocking me – throwing their hands around like I do when I talk and mimicking me pleading with her – which I did NOT – I simply stated my case.

“Excuse me??? Are you MOCKING ME? I would like you to know I am NOT a felon! I am the quintessential soccer Mom (I am sure I lost them at quintessential). Look at me – a big purse, a mini van, a bunch of kids….SO not a felon. While YOU my creepy little friends – look like the type of folks that probably have body parts in your trunk – so why don’t you just buy your stupid little Frito Lays and Red Bull and MOVE ALONG?”

Okay I didn’t say that but I did think it. Instead I made a BIG POINT of walking out the door farthest from them to show them I was clearly in control. Total Alpha Dog.

As I pulled out I saw them go to leave. On bikes!!! Little bikes. They were like 45 years old!!! And they had their SA bags tied to their handle bars – smacking up against their bikes as they pedaled. One of them actually for totally real had the bike license plate that said, “I wish you were DSL – so I could get high speed access”.

And they were mocking ME?